If you have an eye full of light, you see the world as caring, generous and abundant. The see the world as having infinite amounts of joy, success, meaning, happiness, etc. to give. You rarely feel jealous of what “he has” because you trust that you will also be well taken care of.
If you have an eye full of darkness, you see the world as having limited amounts of success, happiness, joy, etc. You view the world as a pie with only a certain number of slices to go around. If you see someone with the car, the career, the spouse, etc., that you wanted you feel screwed and jealous because the piece of pie that you wanted has already been given. You see scarcity all around and don’t trust that you will be taken care of in the future; you plan for the worst and cope by taking Xanax and drinking wine.
As I listened, I could think of times when I had an eye full of light… and times when I had an eye full of darkness. I had an eye full of light when I lost my biggest client because every time I started to feel anxious, I repeated over and over that something better would come along and everything would be okay. Although that situation popped into my mind, many more situations where I had eyes of darkness, came up. I repeatedly feel jealous when I watch an interview with a successful author and when I see women in fantastic physical shape at the pool, I not only feel jealous but wonder if I will ever lose weight down the road. I noticed that although I could identify situations in both camps, sadly, I realized that my natural “default” setting is to see the world through darkness. However, I am soooo not alone.
When I think about the people around me, I couldn’t think of one person who consistently possessed eyes of light. My mom was always waiting for the other shoe to drop (even when she was on a 14-day cruise to Africa) and most of my friends (including myself) had a prescription for Xanax.
We are bombarded with the eye of darkness messages since society perpetrates the scarcity, one piece of pie, philosophy. The news is filled with stories of “not enough” and sports, where there is ONE winner, is our national pastime. We celebrate people who climb, claw and elbow their way to be the ONE at the top. There is only one slice of pie and most of us were raised to go out and TAKE it.
So, if we are surrounded by the dark viewpoint, how to do we keep the eye of light? Rob suggests changing our viewpoint about another’s good fortune. Say Dennis got the promotion that you worked extra hours for, gave up your weekends for and REALLY REALLY wanted. Rob suggests instead of viewing Dennis’s promotion as a threat (he got the ONE thing you wanted), intentionally (forcibly and through clenched teeth if necessary), congratulate Dennis. After, tell yourself that Dennis’s good fortune is a sign; a sign that if THAT can happen to Dennis, then something even BETTER is coming MY WAY!!! Rob suggests that if Dennis is a major bonehead and only got the promotion because he is the bosses nephew (i.e. soooooo NOT FAIR!), then this is just a sign that EVEN GREATER THINGS are coming your way.
The next time you feel that pit of jealousy or unfairness in how the baseball championship game turned out, instead of complaining or wallowing, deliberately congratulate them…… and see what happens.
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