Who I AM

I'm you.  I’m your neighbor, your friend, your mother, your sister.  I’m not a spiritual teacher or a psychologist.  I don’t have a PhD or an MD.  I am a working mother and wife.  I have dirty dishes in the sink, an unmade bed, a 7 year old who is asking me right now, “where are the cheese sticks?” However, after a series of events I found myself overwhelmed with obligations and to dos; unable to keep up and feeling many days like I was holding on by my fingernails.  I repeatedly dreamed of being one of those famous people who goes into the hospital for exhaustion.  I knew something had to change.

Two years ago I had everything I thought I wanted; I wouldn’t say I was happy but I wouldn’t say I was unhappy either.  Although I often looked at my life and wondered if this was all there was, since I couldn’t think of anything else I could possibly want, I would answer the question with a yes and move on to the next to-do. 

Then, BLAMMO, life started adding more (and more and more) to-do’s to my already lengthy list.  One thing after another happened and the tenuous balancing act I had created in my life to keep myself comfortably between happy and unhappy came violently crashing down.

I thought when I began "fixing myself" that I simply needed new skills to better manage my life.  To say “no” more often and then manage my guilt when I did; to slow down, sleep and eat better and exercise more.  It was a total shock when I stumbled into something much bigger and more profound.   I experienced a total shift in how I see my life and how I live (at least try to live) my life.